Life isn’t simple, the way I used to think it was.  You can’t line people up with the good guys on one side and the bad guys on the other, and you certainly can’t always stay inside those black-and-white lines when you’re using crayons.  Unless, of course, living is not your goal.

If you like to be in control of your life, you should probably stop reading.  Like now.  Because if I’ve been learning anything lately, it’s that I’m not ever going to be in control of the weather or other drivers or what kind of patient I take care of at work.  And so this blog is going to be a place where I share out-of-control-ness in the context of learning to live a full, beautiful, colorful life.

I’m a labor and delivery nurse, so believe me when I say I’ve seen out-of-control.  It doesn’t have to be ugly.  It may not be fun when it’s happening, but a lot of times you can look back with nostalgic fondness on things like being put in a headlock by a woman in transition who wasn’t going to have time to get her epidural.  I know.  I’ve been there.  Breathing is good.

I love my job.  And my family.  And my church.  But I really love Jesus, because Jesus has brought such vivid colors into my life it sometimes hurts to look at them.  When I lived the black-and-white life – and even when I thought grey was slightly acceptable in obscure situations – I don’t think I knew the real Jesus.  And it took a lot of people and a lot of sermons and a lot of reading and a lot of counseling and a lot of plain old living to get me to the point where I recognized color was good because God created it and called it good.

So here I am, living a colorful life.  It’s like a good story – lots of twists and turns, a lot of zigging when you expected zagging, and a really awesome mansion and happily-ever-after at the end.  But we’re not at the happily-ever-after part yet, so come on for the ride…


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